The Red Address Book and the Stories We Carry
Finding grace and remembrance in a season of decline
I love how books find us at just the right time.
In a Hallmark movie, this might be called a “God wink”...one of those quiet, meaningful moments where something small carries more weight than it should. That’s how it feels to me now, as my mom has been declining and I find myself reaching for stories that help me make sense of where we are.
Back in October, my mom was diagnosed with terminal stage 4 cancer. I’ve shared a bit of that journey here already, and this feels like the next chapter—one that arrived, fittingly, through a book.
Just before Christmas, I had placed a hold at the library on a book I was excited to read. When I went to pick it up, I realized I’d forgotten to bring back some overdue books. Because of the fines, my library card was locked, and I couldn’t check out the book on hold. I left disappointed but determined to come back after Christmas and straighten things out.
Life, of course, had other plans.
By the time I returned to the library, the book I had on hold was gone. The librarian told me it had been transferred to another branch in Goldendale. I felt that small but real pang of loss that comes when something simple you were looking forward to slips away.
As I stood there chatting with her, my eye caught a book resting on a shelving cart: The Red Address Book.
The title stopped me in my tracks.
My mom has a red address book—one that is very special to her. It was a gift she received in 1955, and she’s used it faithfully ever since. A small testament to a lifetime of connections. Over the Christmas season, Mom has had me add several new addresses to it as she’s received cards from friends and loved ones. That little red book feels like a living history of her life.
So when I saw The Red Address Book, I asked if I could check it out, not knowing anything about the story inside. I brought it home and started reading that night.
It turned out to be exactly what I didn’t know I needed.
The novel follows a 96-year-old woman in Sweden whose only living relative is a niece in California. The story moves back and forth between her present-day life—caregivers, physical decline, a hospital stay—and the memories she records as she revisits the names in her address book. Many of those names are crossed out, marked “dead,” but each represents someone who shaped her life in meaningful ways.
What I’ve loved most is how the book gives me a window into the lived experience of an elderly person navigating illness and loss of independence—what it’s like to be old and unwell, unable to decide for yourself when you’re rested or tired, what you should or shouldn’t do, or how your days unfold.
I’m only about two-thirds of the way through, but it’s been a gentle, grounding companion in this season.
Mom is still doing well in many respects. She’s walking, talking, eating, and interacting with friends and family. But she is declining, and the changes are noticeable, sometimes daily. It’s hard on all of us, but I suspect it’s hardest on her. She struggles with confusion, and when she becomes aware of it, it’s deeply distressing.
We’re grateful that earlier this month we were able to celebrate her 79th birthday with a family party. One of the highlights was singing a personalized version of “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music.
She loved seeing a live production of the musical back in early November. Over the years she sang many of those songs as a soloist at various events. So we rewrote the lyrics to reflect her life, her faith, and the small joys she’s always cherished, and we sang them to her on her birthday.
Here are the lyrics we shared:
Mom’s Favorite Things
Verse 1
Singing hymns, God’s Word, God’s promises also
Rainbows of mercy that always endure,
Key chains and tiny things held in your hands,
These are a few of your favorite things.
Verse 2
Charlie, God’s rainbows, and Milk Duds and smileys
Heavenly donuts and lots of orange sherbet
God’s living Word and His truth every day,
These are a few of your favorite things.
Chorus
All these blessings, both big and small,
Gifts from the Lord above.
When life feels heavy or nights feel long,
Remember these joys and pray.
Verse 3
Original Chex Mix, and Costco and Goodwill
Samples and discounts and coupons and good deals
Tiny things, notebooks, and cute little things
Simple delights from the Lord up above.
Verse 4
Hope that is shining from Romans fifteen,
Strength from the Psalms when life overwhelms,
Mercy, forgiveness, God’s promises true,
God is our refuge—He carries us through.
Chorus 2
When you’re weary, when you’re tired
When you’re feeling sad
When life feels heavy or nights feel long,
Remember these joys and pray.
Verse 5
Stories of Jesus you love to proclaim,
Peace in the storm through His holy name,
“My Jesus, I love Thee,” your heart’s gentle song,
Wrapped in His love where we all belong.
Verse 6
Mom, how we love you, we’re going to miss you
Say hi to Jesus, He’ll tell you He loves you
When you’re in heaven, we’ll think of you too.
You’re both a few of our favorite things.
Chorus 3
When we miss you, when we’re grieving
When we’re feeling sad
We’ll simply remember the life that you lived
And then we won’t feel so bad.
Final Verse
These are the treasures that brighten our days,
Faith, love, and laughter, thanksgiving and praise.
And when we sing now, together we bring
Praise to our God, Lord Jesus our King.
Final Chorus
All these blessings, both big and small,
Gifts from the Lord above.
When life feels heavy or nights feel long,
Remember these joys and sing!
In this season of cherishing memories, of slowing down, of learning how to let go, I’m grateful for small mercies. For stories that meet us where we are. For favorite things. For red address books that hold a lifetime. And for the reminder that even when people pass on, love remains.
Very beautiful, Christina. Thank you.
I praise God for giving you that book to read just when you needed it. His grace IS sufficient, always.